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Sportsocratic

Thoughts, ideas, opinions and postulations on sport and adventuring

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  • The things that made me
  • Stories
    • General sporting stories
    • Waves of Pain
      • No Respect!
      • Death Wish at Fairy Bower
      • Fried nuts
      • The ocean is a trickster… especially Hawaii’s North Shore – Gas chambers bites the unwary!
      • Titus Kinimaka’s nightmare Christmas
      • Dix dumped – the trials of a self-confessed elite body surfer
      • The little surf that nearly ruined a promising career…
      • Rabbit killer – a master takes a caning at pipeline!
      • Death Wish at Fairy Bower
      • Easternmost memory – surfing in the wild at the end of the continent
      • Nothing ruins a good surf like a couple of blokes with automatic assault rifles…
      • Agony for Miki Dora
      • Smashed at Gas Chambers
      • Who was Europe’s first surfing woman? Introducing the wonderful Witch of Newbury.
      • A bad day at Palmy – surfies and clubbies at war!
      • When being a proven waterman is not enough!
      • The highs and lows of surfing Sunset Beach while competing at the Duke Kahanamoku Invitational
      • An American midnight surf – that goes very wrong!
  • What does it mean?
    • What is a snake?
    • What does “shag” mean?
    • What does “Freddy Jones” mean?
    • What does “hook and ladder” mean?
    • What does back walk-over mean?
  • Philosophers Sport Bar
    • Socrates and Aristotle debate football defence
    • Michel de Montaigne on coaching sports
    • Ancient philosophers discuss what makes the beautiful game beautiful! Laozi and Socrates get technical.

Waves of Pain

Teen’s toes attacked at Tallows Beach

January 7, 2021 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

The ocean never fails to surprise with its choices for methods of torture of its adherents… as Byron Bay young gun surfer, Jack, discovered a few years back. While Jack had his heart in his mouth when he turned up for his surf lesson to discover that the Ocean at Tallow Beach was in an angry mood, he would never have imagined, in a million years, that his session would end up as it did. Click the pic and read about Jack’s adventure and discover how weird the ocean can be when it gets grumpy.

The little surf that nearly ruined a promising career…

May 21, 2020 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment

Imagine growing up around big waves, being addicted to surfing and then being transferred to a work place more well-known for its bears, forests and snow than surfing breaks. It can be a cruel world! Under such circumstances young folk would do almost anything for a surfing fix. Imagine yourself taking your “once in a blue moon chance” to get a wave and having that wave work you over so bad that it not only bloody nearly ruins your year but almost ruins your career. That’s what happenned to one young fella from Perth. Now that is a serious “Wave of Pain”. Usually, a day in the waves is bliss. Ocassionally it is hell. Read about one rare hell day here.

Book review

CHEAT – The not so subtle art of conning your way to sporting glory – Titus O’Reily

December 8, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

What do Luis Suarez’ teeth, Nancy Kerrigan’s knees, Cameron Bancroft’s pockets, John Hopoate’s fingers, an Olympic Games Intellectually Disabled basketball competition and the Barbados national soccer team (oh… and lots and lots of other soccer teams and players) have in common? They all take center stage in some of the world’s nastiest and most hilarious sports cheating scandals. Titus O’Reily’s brand new book takes an inside look at the phenomenon of cheating in sport and lays the boot into the cheats while providing some answers as to why they carry out their despicable behaviours. Throughout the text he also reminds us that cheating usually has consequences and that the victims of cheating often suffer long term impacts that go further than merely the disappointment of being deprived of a victory. Socrates read O’Reily’s fascinating book in a small number of sittings. he found it difficult to put the thing down. Here are his impressions. Press the pic and read on!

Philosopher’s Sports Bar

Sport 2021 – Sports philosopher No 2. Aaron Kearney

April 4, 2020 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment

Multi-skilled and multi-award-winning sports presenter, sports expert, sociologist and philosopher, Aaron Kearney, joins Socrates in the philosopher’s sports bar to run through some of the changes that we might expect in our sporting lives when the dust from the Covid19 epidemic settles. Not only does Kearney describe a bunch of changes that are likely in the world of sport over the next twelve months but he has a bit of a wish list as well. Let’s knock the boring sports celebrities down a peg or two might be one of his hopes! Other than a democratization of the world of sports stardom there is not a lot of negative in the sporting world of 2021 that Kearney imagines. Check out his conversation with our beloved “Round Mound of Scrumming-Down” (Socrates) here. Just click on the pic.

Sport 2021 – Sports philosopher No 1. Peter Fitzsimons

March 28, 2020 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment

When the dust from the corona virus finally settles what will our sporting world look like? Will everything just pop up again as if nothing had ever happenned… or will the world of sport be a completely different place? Who knows? Socrates decided to invite various sports philosophers to the sports bar to ask them about where they thought that sport would be in 2021. He started off with the republican author, columnist and rugger bugger with the penchant for red hankies… Peter Fitzsimons. Not surprisingly, one of Peter’s strongest messages was that he hoped that in a new world (with many genuine serious social, cultural and financial needs) it wouldn’t be sport that gets pushed up to the front of the queue when it comes to handouts.

melbourne cup

Research shows whipping horses doesn’t make them run faster, straighter, or safer — let’s cut it out

November 17, 2020 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment

Like many others I have always viewed horse racing with ambivalence. Previous and current generations of my extended family have had strong equestrian links but, on the matter of horse racing, opinions of family members have been split down the middle for decades. Attitudes were so powerful and entrenched that it was strictly forbidden, at family gatherings, to mention to Aunty Betty and Uncle Dick that cousin Matt and Uncle Dave kept race horses. And so, as this recent Melbourne Cup came around, yet again, my feelings towards the event were mixed. I had immense admiration for the athlete horses and jockeys for the extraordinary and difficult sporting event that they were going to participate in but I had huge reservations about the potential cruelty of the race and the gambling, drinking and foolish outfit wearing (described by many as “fashion”) I found repulsive.

Anyway, the first Tuesday in November came and went and, yet again, the horror stories that came out of the event far outweighed the heart-warming and life-affirming stories. Another horse had died during the running… and yet another jockey was handed a punishment for excessive use of the whip. As the news unfolded about the running of the race, my former ambivalence was rapidly swinging towards opposition.

The next morning, I heard Sydney academic Paul McGreevy on the radio discussing the Melbourne Cup. In the course of the interview he raised an issue that surprised me and, I suspect, would surprise most people. He and his research colleagues compared the performance of horses competing in “hands and heels” races (races where whipping is not permitted) with performance of horses competing in traditional, whip-use-permitted, events. They discussed their findings in a report for “The Conversation.” Here it is. Click the picture above to get the story… and read on!  

Curmudgeon Corner

“Talk it up!” – Nup, says Socrates. “If you’ve got nuthin’ useful to say, then shut up!”

September 5, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

Sports curmudgeon, Socrates, reckons that sports coaches have lots of pretty darn stupid things to say to their players but he ranks “I wanna hear lots of talking” up there at the top is the stupidest. Socrates wonders why coaches would want players to babble on pointlessly when the noise that they are making may well drown out genuinely important messages that players may wish to deliver to each other. Click the pic to get Socrates’ latest sports rant about the “talk it up on the pitch” phenomenon.

The secret to sublime soccer – great players see and create “Ma”

August 27, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

What is the secret to football (soccer) greatness? Socrates digs into the ancient Japanese philosophy of “Ma” to reveal the element that transforms soccer technical skills from mere trickery to sporting greatness. “Negative space” (or “Ma” as the Japanese call it) lies at the heart of beauty and functionality in art, culture, music, design, architecture, theatre and even spirituality. Here Socrates shows that “Ma” is also critical in sport… and especially soccer. Socrates describes how great soccer players and brilliant teams use the space between objects and gaps in time to create sporting magic.

Nothing better than a “hit up”… but

July 13, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

I love the “hit up” in the game of Rugby League. Seeing blokes like John O’Neill, all those years ago, demanding the ball so he could terrorize his opponents with devastating runs, is one of the things that makes Rugby League great for me. Even so, would you believe that the passing game, statistically speaking, makes twice as much ground than passing the the ball one pass off the ruck for a hit up! Yet the hit up is done twice as often as passing the ball. Does this make sense? I love the “hit up” and it’s a key part of any great footy team’s arsenal but statistics seem to suggest that the “hit up” and the passing game should be used more wisely. Check it out.

Opinion

Priorities in times of Covid-19

April 14, 2020 By SOCRATES NEWS DESK Leave a Comment

Here is a story about a new kid in town who suddenly, as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, has to worry about how she will survive. At the same time, sports celebrities implore “loyal fans” to keep supporting their clubs financially. This kid…. and millions of others (many of them new kids in town) just WANT THEIR MONEY BACK. They need it! The elite sports leaders and many average punters come from totally different worlds. When someone asks the ones without jobs about how important the survival of professional sports teams is, I doubt that they have even given it any thought. They have more important things on their minds.

Matildas

Whats wrong with the Matildas?

March 11, 2020 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment

The Matildas had one big win against (and one not so big win) against Vietnam in their Olympics qualifier. They also topped their group in the Olympic qualifying tournament a while back. But do they look like they are playing as well as they can? Despite having some of the world’s best players Socrates feels uneasy about the progress of Australia’s favourite sports team. According to the fat old philosopher, even when they are winning they don’t look convincing. Find out what Socrates thinks about the play of the team that he thinks should be world beaters.

Rugby scrum and sports rorts – government employs Spartan approach

January 23, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

Socrates discusses rugby scrums and how they used to be in the good old days. He thinks that the former Sports Minister has been taking lessons from the Spartan scrum. Back in the day there used to be rules that wiley hookers would try to twist to their advantage. Socrates explains that some rugby scrums, on the other hand, didn’t give a tinkers cuss about “the rules” and pretty much made things up as they went along. In many ways, this lawless version of the rugby scrum (which didn’t usually pay off back in the old days) is currently making a return in the new world of Australian politics and, frustratingly, the lawless ones seem to be getting away with it. It is now the world of “I am the boss, so I can do what I want. I am not breaking the rules… because there are no rules!”

obey sound sporting principles!

“Talk it up!” – Nup, says Socrates. “If you’ve got nuthin’ useful to say, then shut up!”

September 5, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

Sports curmudgeon, Socrates, reckons that sports coaches have lots of pretty darn stupid things to say to their players but he ranks “I wanna hear lots of talking” up there at the top is the stupidest. Socrates wonders why coaches would want players to babble on pointlessly when the noise that they are making may well drown out genuinely important messages that players may wish to deliver to each other. Click the pic to get Socrates’ latest sports rant about the “talk it up on the pitch” phenomenon.

aphorisms, insights and wisdom… about fishing!

“You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don’t want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.”

Brilliant and unorthodox American comedian, Mitch Hedberg, who like so many other comic geniuses, died way too young.

 

matildas

Aivi Luik interview – Matilda unsung hero

February 6, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

In pub discussions about the Australian women’s football team’s most remarkable player the name Aivi Luik is not often the first one to come up. Socrates thinks that this might be a mistake and that the value of this remarkable athlete might be under-recognized. Check out her record of achievment in almost every corner of the football world. USA, Canada, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, United Kingdom, Spain, Australia. MVP awards. Championships. All star team selections. She has had a remarkable career by anyone’s standards and is still playing at her best at 34! With Luik and her fellow Matildas in camp preparing for their Olympic Games qualifying series matches against China, Thailand and Taiwan this week Socrates was grateful that she found time to answer some questions about her footballing life. Press here for the Aivi Luik interview – a must for all sports fans, especially ambitious young athletes considering overseas careers.

Wisdom

 

“Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the centre of the city.”

Oscar Wilde

While I appreciate Oscar’s humour, I gotta say he is being a bit harsh. There are a few rugby players who are not bullies!

who is this kid?

The Sporting Life of Albo

August 15, 2019 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment

This good looking young bloke was a handy rugby league half back and a cracker fielder on the cricket oval (though he couldn’t bat or bowl to save himself). He also had a pretty handy back hand in tennis. The handy back-hand he still has! Anthony “Albo” Albanese may be a sports tragic who would still love to win a competition or two but he knows that sport has more going for it than the buzz you might get out of winning the next match. Great sport is about great community thinks Albo!

sports style – or lack of it!

Seven deadly sins of sports sartorialism and style.

April 17, 2019 By SOCRATES 2 Comments

There are hundreds of fashion choices that look ridiculous, foolish, horrible and offensive in a sporting context but seven particular style choices brand the “sinner” almost beyond redemption. Socrates smugly sticks his massive nose in the air and points the finger of sartorial disgrace at the “sins” he finds most hideous.

hokkaido adventuring

Life of adventure – John Morrell

April 9, 2019 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment

Have you ever thought about living a life of adventure? Of buggering off to another land with a different culture, language and entire way of life and never coming back? That’s what John Morrell did decades ago. He went for a short visit… and never came back. If you went to Hokkaido too maybe you would do the same. Find out why John and his family are still loving the aspirin snow. Get his story in his chat with Socrates right here!

wisdom

“These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me. They won’t make you rebound like me. They definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me.”

Who else but the incomparable Sir Charles “Round Mound of Rebound” Wade Barkley.

Recent Comments

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Outstanding achievement

Outstanding (but not well-known) sporting achievement

September 19, 2019 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

Everyone has heard of Kelly Slater and his bucket load of world surfing titles. Michael Jordan and his multitude of NBA titles are pretty common knowledge too. Michael Schumacher’s six world driver’s championships are pretty well known as well. Here is a sporting achievement all three would be jealous of. Manly surfer Greg Mossop has a sporting achievement that these three champions could only dream of and Mossop believes that, with a bit of luck, he could have done even better!

Rugby Trivia

Olympics Rugby Teams – Who are the greatest?

April 23, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

The rugby trivia question for the century! Which national rugby union team holds the record for the most Olympic gold medals in Rugby Union (the full-team fifteen a side game)?

Ethics and fairplay

Never cheated in my life!

November 19, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

What is cheating? Is cheating a black and white moral issue… or are there shades of gray. Socrates spent twenty years in the engine room of the beautiful game of rugby… the scrum. He loved being a rugby hooker. He reckons that being slap bang in the middle of sixteen enormous, sweating blokes desperate to secure possession of the ball for their team taught him quite a bit about the fine art of cheating… what it is… and what it isn’t…. and how it can be done. Here Socrates lifts the veil on aspects of the workings of the 1970’s and 80’s amateur rugby scrum revealing some of its secrets. In so doing he shows that cheating is not a simple moral issue. he also claims to haver never deliberately cheated. Do you believe him?

Sport and the question of ethics

November 13, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

“Come on. Get over it. Move on. It’s just a game!”

Most sports lovers have, at some stage of their sporting lives, experienced what they perceived to be a significant sporting injustice and had their complaints answered with just such a response. But is it “just a game?” Do injustices within the sporting realm have the potential to do real damage to individuals and to society. Socrates heard a story about a local sporting team who felt that they had been dudded by the organizers of their regional competition and he wondered whether their concerns about the perceived lack of fairness in their case and the potential consequences for all involved had any merit.

When Socrates heard former rugby referee and philosopher, Dr Simon Longstaff (Executive Director of The Ethics Centre), discussing the importance of ethics with great eloquence and passion on the radio he thought that he might be a good person to ask about whether ethics applies in sport and whether there are potential consequences for society when fair play in sport is sidestepped.

Simon was kind enough to agree to a chat. Click the pic to read the good stuff.

New surfing podcast

One of Australia’s greatest ever surfers – one of surfing’s greatest story tellers – “Rabbit” Bartholomew – talks to award winning journalist Tim Baker about life, surfing and stuff. Perfect listening for lockdown entertainment.

SOCRATES’ RECENT TWEETS

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professionalism

Priorities in times of Covid-19

April 14, 2020 By SOCRATES NEWS DESK Leave a Comment

Here is a story about a new kid in town who suddenly, as a result of the Covid-19 pandemic, has to worry about how she will survive. At the same time, sports celebrities implore “loyal fans” to keep supporting their clubs financially. This kid…. and millions of others (many of them new kids in town) just WANT THEIR MONEY BACK. They need it! The elite sports leaders and many average punters come from totally different worlds. When someone asks the ones without jobs about how important the survival of professional sports teams is, I doubt that they have even given it any thought. They have more important things on their minds.

wisdom

Its just a job. Grass grows. Birds fly. Waves pound the sand. I beat people up. – Muhammad Ali

sport at mardi gras

Athletes in the LGBTQI Mardi Gras

March 12, 2019 By SOCRATES 2 Comments

Twenty-one different sports teams marched in this years Sydney Mardi Gras. That’s twenty-one groups of out and proud queer athletes. The LGBTQI community need to be “fearless” and queer athletes are no exception. Check out these fearless sporting clubs living it up on their night of night!

A life with horses

A life with horses – or Lulu in wonderland

August 8, 2018 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment

It’s well known that playing sport can be a life-changing experience. For one mum, adventurer and businessperson, having a sporty pastime was more than life-changing. Lulu’s friendship with her horses has touched her and her daughter’s lives in a million ways and created a whole new life in an ever-changing wonderland for them both. But don’t think for a moment that their horses are the purpose built catalysts for their ideal lives! Its way more complex than that… and more respectful. Read on! It’s worth it!

wisdom

“Pressure? Pressure is a Messerschmidt up your arse. Playing cricket is not!”

Keith Miller

One of the greatest cricket “all-rounders” of all time, Keith Miller was not only an exceptional performer in multiple elements of test cricketing (batting, bowling and fielding) but he was also gifted in numerous other aspects of his life. Witty, entertaining, handsome, a renowned war time pilot and gifted Australian Rules Footballer, Miller was famed for calling a spade a spade and acknowledging that there was much more to life than elite sports. Having flown fighter bombers in the Second World War under life threatening circumstances he was not one to take the “pressure” of high level sport too seriously!

trivia

Here is a cracker of a trivia question.

Who was the college recruiting scout talking about when he said the following to his head coach.

“I’ve just seen a fat guy… who can play like the wind!”

Yup. The same guy who told people that just because they had shoes like his, it didn’t make them like him in any other way. Charles Wade Barkley.

Etymology

Where did the word canter come from?

August 8, 2018 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

A bit more horsey stuff for people who liked the story next door. Here is a cracker bit of etymology for all you word lovers (and horse lovers) out there. Where does the word canter come from? You’ll never guess in a million years! Click here to find out. It’s a beauty!

What does it mean?

What is Elvis leg?

Admit it. You’ve never heard of “Elvis leg,” have you? What the blazes is “Elvis leg?” As is the case with every other “What does it mean…” story we have ever posted, the answer is not directly related to the name itself. It is indirectly related to Elvis, though. Have a guess what the relationship is… then click here and check out whether your were correct. Find out for certain which sport uses this term and what it means.

What is a liberator?

Of course most you aviation buffs will think that a liberator is an American WW2 heavy bomber. Fair enough. But in a sporting context does it have a completely different meaning? Indeed it does. You are going to have to click here to find out what a liberator is and does in the world of sport.

Aphorisms, insights and wisdom

“The thing that’s depressing about tennis is that no matter how good I get I will never be as good as a wall.”

More perceptive sporting analysis from Mitch Hedberg, comic genius.

 

ebook

Phillip has returned to the south of India after eighteen years. But who is the young girl staying in his hotel? And what will he learn about his estranged brother through Inez, the Spanish backpacker?

To buy The Bangalore Test, John Campbell’s new ebook novella, just click the link.

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