Socrates has been playing and watching sport for decades and one of the (many) things that has mystified and annoyed him from a young age is the way that some teams, (usually basketball teams), emblazon their uniforms with their team name in text. He doesn’t get it. And he worries about where this tradition might be heading!
When I was a young pup playing hooker for the Balgowlah Heights under 10 rugby team, I couldn’t understand why our light blue football jumpers had a little capital B H sewed onto the right breast. Did our parents and coaches think that, perhaps, we would forget who we were playing for and start tackling our own teammates if we didn’t have a text reminder of who we were on the jersey? Surely not.
Our rugby neighbours, the Manly Vikings, didn’t need an M on their jerseys. Everyone knew the Vikings from their distinctive red and white colours and helmet emblem. I doubt if the Vikings players were smarter than us, yet they didn’t need reminding of who they were playing for. The Warringah Roos… our greatest rivals… didn’t need a W embroidered on their uniform. The little kangaroo on their breast was sufficient to make them instantly recognizable. The competition easy beats, the Balgowlah Bears, definitely did not have (or need) a B. Who would not recognize a uniform that consisted of a brown jersey, brown shorts, brown socks, and a little bear on the breast of the jumper. In my adult years I actually ended up playing for Balgowlah and the whole team took great pride in our having the worst uniform that anyone had ever seen. Mind you, in would have been even worse if the little bear had been replaced by a B.
It’s colours and emblem that count!
My conviction that a sports team should be recognizable through their uniform colour choices, uniform design, and club emblem have stuck with me all of my life. The thought that a team might need text emblazoned on their outfit to remind the world of who they are strikes me as being insulting to the team, to the club, and to its players. It implies that the organization is of so little consequence that, just to be safe, we better include a few words to remind everyone of who we are. To me, that seems to be just plain dumb.
How come, then, that it’s almost impossible (and always has been, as far as I can tell), to find a basketball team that doesn’t have its name plastered across the front of the uniform in big letters? What? Why? When did this tradition start? Was there an obscure reason behind it? I’d like to know, because it doesn’t make sense to me. In fact, it bugs me.
You’d have to be born under a rock to not recognize the Celtics
When, as a teenager, I first started watching American pro basketball, the big teams were the Lakers and the Celtics. Guess what? Crazily, both teams had their club names on the front of their singlets. There was Magic Johnson… the most famous basketball player in the world… dribbling up the court with bloody big house-style typography of “Lakers” taking up most of the space where his number should have been. And over at the Celtics I reckon that no one would have been confused as to who old Larry Bird was playing for if his uniform did not have “Celtics” in huge letters across the front of the jersey. Geez. With that distinctive emerald-green strip plus the famous shamrock you would have to have been born under a rock to not know who this team was. The fact that the purple and gold uniforms of the Los Angles team and the green uniforms of the Boston players were two of the most recognizable outfits in sport seemed to matter little. Both teams still needed to remind their players, fans, and officials who they were by placing text on the uniforms. Nuts. Later there was the Chicago Bulls. These guys sported the most famous uniform in sporting history. With those red and black singlets and the unique bull emblem, did anyone really need to be reminded that this team were the “Bulls”. Apparently, they did.
Which has been the most consistently dominant and easily identifiable sports team on the planet over the last 100 years. The New Zealand All Blacks, I’d say. Guess what? They wear all black. And they have never had “All Blacks” or “New Zealand” written on their uniform. What an insult to the teams, to the players, and to the great New Zealand nation it would be if they had to resort to typefaces to show who they were. Then there is Liverpool FC. Who would not immediately recognize the plain red outfit despite its lack of lettering. Surely no sports lover is confused by Barcelona FC playing in their maroon and blue stripes without any associated script.]
Cardinal and myrtle is all you need to know
In Australia, how do you know when your footy team is playing against the South Sydney Rabbitohs? Easy. When a bunch of big blokes run onto the field with cardinal red and myrtle green bands on their jersey… and of course, with a little white bunny rabbit on the right breast… you know you are about to meet the bunnies head on. People would laugh if the jumper also sported “South Sydney.” What about the St George Dragons? Of course, part of the uniform is the distinctive dragon motif on the breast but, even without it, the white uniform with a bold red V would give away who this team are. No “St George” spelled out anywhere in sight… yet no one is left wondering. In the southern Australian states where the most popular sport is Australian Football, the uniform rule is the same. Black and white bands are the Collingwood Magpies. No lettering.
The greatest collection of athletes to assemble on the one sports team is surely the 1992 American Olympic basketball team – dubbed the “Dream Team”. No doubt Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Patrick Ewing, Scottie Pippen, Karl Malone, David Robinson etc. were proud to pull on that famous red, white, and blue and star-spangled uniform but, seriously, was the large capital letters U.S. A. on the chest really necessary? Maybe some people might imagine that Jordan, Johnson et al were playing for Australia, or Spain or Croatia so we better point out to the fans where this great team comes from… just in case. I’m pretty sure that Stocks, the Glide, and the Round Mound of Rebound were clear on what nation they were representing. Talk about a ridiculously redundant design choice.
Changes coming for the polo squad
What is it that makes the Dallas Cowboys so instantly recognizable? Those navy, silver and white outfits with the famous Texan star tell you precisely who they are. “Cowboys” or “Dallas” plastered on the front of the jersey would be plain silly. So why do the basketball teams all do it?
I love basketball. I really do. My high school headmaster hated basketball. He saw it as an unmanly sport that put his beloved 1st team rugby players at risk of injury during the summer months. Despite my being opposed to almost everything that my principal believed, there was one thing we saw eye-to-eye on. The grumpy old bugger, quite rightly, in my view, refused to allow the school’s basketball team to have the school name embroidered in big letters on the singlet. If the rugby team, the rowing team, the tennis team, the athletics team, the swimming team can all get by with just the school colours and the school emblem, so can the hoopers. He was right!
My objection to sports teams having text on their uniforms to signify their team names is all well and good, but it seems that this tradition of basketball teams (in particular American basketball teams) has been around for over 100 years, and it doesn’t appear to be going away any time soon. In fact, worryingly it might be spreading. With the Olympic Games approaching, suggestions have snuck out of the USA water polo team camp, that they are likely to add text to their existing outfit.
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