• Home
  • SOCRATES’ THINKING
    • News and comment
    • Editorial
  • About
  • US
    • Sportsocratic team
    • Contributors
  • Reviews
    • Adventures
    • Books
    • Places
  • Contributions
  • Advertise
  • Contact

Sportsocratic

Thoughts, ideas, opinions and postulations on sport and adventuring

  • Sport & society
    • Ethics & Values
    • History
    • Favourite photos
    • Cultural and social issues
    • Politics
    • Big questions
    • Sport fashion
      • Sartorialism and style
  • Wild sports
  • Silly stuff
  • Sports science
    • Research
    • Coaching
    • Innovation
    • HEALTH
  • The things that made me
  • Stories
    • General sporting stories
    • Waves of Pain
      • No Respect!
      • Death Wish at Fairy Bower
      • Fried nuts
      • The ocean is a trickster… especially Hawaii’s North Shore – Gas chambers bites the unwary!
      • Titus Kinimaka’s nightmare Christmas
      • Dix dumped – the trials of a self-confessed elite body surfer
      • The little surf that nearly ruined a promising career…
      • Rabbit killer – a master takes a caning at pipeline!
      • Death Wish at Fairy Bower
      • Easternmost memory – surfing in the wild at the end of the continent
      • Nothing ruins a good surf like a couple of blokes with automatic assault rifles…
      • Agony for Miki Dora
      • Smashed at Gas Chambers
      • Who was Europe’s first surfing woman? Introducing the wonderful Witch of Newbury.
      • A bad day at Palmy – surfies and clubbies at war!
      • When being a proven waterman is not enough!
      • The highs and lows of surfing Sunset Beach while competing at the Duke Kahanamoku Invitational
      • An American midnight surf – that goes very wrong!
  • What does it mean?
    • What is a snake?
    • What does “shag” mean?
    • What does “Freddy Jones” mean?
    • What does “hook and ladder” mean?
    • What does back walk-over mean?
  • Philosophers Sport Bar
    • Socrates and Aristotle debate football defence
    • Michel de Montaigne on coaching sports
    • Ancient philosophers discuss what makes the beautiful game beautiful! Laozi and Socrates get technical.

The little surf that nearly ruined a promising career…

May 21, 2020 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment Filed Under: Waves of Pain

It’s tough when you grow up in a place where hanging out at the surf is a way of life then, suddenly, work takes you to a place that is land locked and the ocean and waves become things that you can only dream about. I know. It happened to me. Years back I moved from beautiful Queenscliff Beach in Sydney to dreary old London to progress my career and, for the first six months after this big change, I thought I was going to go crackers. My missing the waves was so bad that on Friday afternoons, when I had finished work for the week, I would jump in my car and drive for six hours to Cornwall, just so I could see and play in the ocean for a bit. Surfing is like that. It gets in your blood. It’s a form of addiction. If you love the ocean, you willingly take risks to get a fix. Eventually, I discovered that galloping a horse around the fields and bridle trails in the Thames River Valley can provide a reasonable substitute for the supreme adventure that is surfing. Weekly dates with a big black horse near Windsor saved me from long drives to Cornwall and surf withdrawal.

Cracker waves around Perth

Not too long after my own experience of surf starvation a big, tough, surf hardened young bloke from Perth found himself in a job that took him all the way to Minnesota in the United States. Minnesota? Holy cow! If you are after moose, elk, gophers, wolves, squirrels, white tailed deer, bears and lots of snow you can’t go wrong with Minnesota, but surfing beaches are hard to find. Lakes, yes. But not a wave in sight. You can’t get much less like a south-west Western Australian surfing beach than Minnesota. Yup. They’ve got bears… and that might make a reasonable substitute for great white sharks… but to suggest any other parallels would be to draw a long bow. It must have been hell for the kid.

Ranks up there with Switzerland as a place for a surfer to hang out!

After a few years in the frozen wasteland, the bloke got a job transfer to Chicago. For a surf starved Western Australian, the Chicago move might have been a decent career shift, but in terms of providing a surf opportunity you can just forget it. Chicago may have a frikkin huge lake, but it would rank up there with Switzerland as an ideal place for a keen surfer to hang out. Other than good money and fun work there was an upside to this guy’s job, though. It was hard physical work, but it did involve lots of travel. From time to time he found himself travelling to places like Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York and Miami and these places have… surf! They may not have the top-quality surf and beaches you might find in Albany, Margaret River, Cottesloe, Rottnest, or Yallingup, granted, but beggars can’t be choosers! At least regular business trips enabled the kid to squeeze in a quick surf while he was on the road.

Timberwolves… but not much in the way of waves

It was on one of those trips out west that, after a morning of hard work with a group of his colleagues, our West Australian surfer decided to head to the beach with one of his work mates to get a long-awaited surf fix. The surf at Hermosa Beach didn’t look all that good. It was gnarly, wind- blown and small but it still looked like heaven to a beach kid who had spent nearly five years now living away from the ocean. The kid had surfed in big waves for much of his life so these little frothy shore-breaking tiddlers weren’t going to present much of a challenge but it felt so good just to feel the Pacific Ocean beating against his body.

Body surfs like a long board

After a few minutes splashing around beyond the surf break our adventurous surf hero was ready to show his mate how wild boys from Western Australia treat measly American surf. He picked the biggest wave he could find from a selection of smallish foam balls, dived down the face and kicked for all he was worth. Being way taller than average and with complimentary huge feet, our Western Aussie had always found body surfing easy. He figured that his long, lean body functioned in the waves much like a long board did, enabling him to slip easily into the engine room section of waves and his flipper-sized feet gave him the speed to keep himself just where he wanted to be on the wave. The big fella was just starting to enjoy the ride when, being out of practice, he failed to notice an approaching shallow sand bank close to the shore. That is a fatal mistake for a hard charging body surfer… especially one th

Chicago. A lake… but shit waves.

at is out of touch with the art. The small wave sucked his body up the face then pitched him a meter forward and down then landed on top of him just as his upper body was making a hard landing on the sand bank. Being big may be an advantage when you are catching a wave and wanting to go fast but it is no advantage when your 125-kilogram frame slams into an immovable object.

The kid felt like he had been body slammed by Andre the Giant. Unfortunately, a sand bank is considerably less giving than a wrestling mat. Only a few meters from shore he staggered to his feet and wandered up the beach in a daze. He couldn’t believe it. He had survived (even thrived in) enormous surf at home and here on a wind-blown little beach break in Southern California he felt like he was going to die. Worst of all, he felt a searing pain in the shoulder that had taken the most impact from the fall! His friend, who was waiting for him on the beach, approached and said “Buddy… are you okay? That was quite some trick!”

The friend then noticed something unexpected and awful. “Man… look at your shoulder. Holy crap.”

Panic set in

The kid looked down at his throbbing shoulder and there, right where are a nice healthy shoulder muscle should reside, was a big, fat blue and red lump. To make matters worse, he couldn’t move his arm. Panic quickly set in. The two work mates knew that a healthy body was essential in the kids’ line of work, so the next twenty-four hours meant multiple hospital visits, doctor’s consultations and conversations with the kid’s boss and fellow workers. The verdict was bad. A third-degree separation of the shoulder joint. Eight weeks off work. His work team were going to have to find a way to cover for him. Without the kid, for such a long period of time, they were at risk of falling from being the premier operation in their business and what had looked like being a great year was now at risk of falling apart.

Some people can surf shore breaks… but not our hero!

To say that the boss was pissed was an understatement. No one knows what the boss actually said to the kid but “fuck… shit… stupid prick… what the fuck were you doing… dumb-fuck Australian punk… give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fire your arse”, is probably not far from it.

The kid tried to divert the abuse with the claim that it wasn’t his fault because he had been attacked by a shark in a completely unprovoked manner and that he was in the act of throttling the bastard when he felt his should go. The boss neither accepted the excuse, nor saw his attempt at levity as remotely appropriate under the circumstances. The kid’s work mates were not much kinder. In their business, having to find ways to cover for a key member of the operation, was not going to be easy and, besides, if they didn’t successfully cover for him, their working year were going to be stuffed too.

It wasn’t a good day at the beach for the kid. It does remind us, however, that no matter how experienced you are, even small waves should be respected. The good news for the kid and his team was that he did get better and he and his work mates did go on to have a great year despite his nearly throwing a nasty spanner into the works. One aspect of the accident even turned out to be a real positive for the kid. Before his injury, the young bloke had had a prickly relationship with his work team’s top gun. The laconic, laid back Australian, rarely saw eye to eye with the intense, aggressive, and uber-competitive superstar of the team and on several occasions at work meetings the two had very nearly come to blows. When the kid returned to work with his recovered shoulder, his work nemesis approached him shyly after their first work outing together and confessed, “It’s great to have you back, Luc. None of the other guys in the team know how to set a decent screen for me. I really missed you out there!”

If it hadn’t been for Luc Longley’s banged up shoulder Michael Jordan, the Chicago Bulls superstar and arguably the greatest basketball player of all time, may never have discovered how hard the big fella worked, every game, to provide him with open looks at the basket.

No one sets a screen for MJ like big Luc

TIMOTHY EDWARDS

Tim Edwards has had a completely rubbish sporting career so it is odd that he seems so obsessed with sport and adventuring. As a basketball shooting guard he had an okay jump shot but couldn't do anything else. As a rugby hooker he spent more time puking then actually playing. As a runner he won an awful lot of consolation prize chocolates for coming fourth but almost never won a ribbon. Despite his inadequacies he still loves sport and has opinions on almost any sporting subject. Tim has spent large parts of his working life in publishing and writing roles and has even done his share of teaching sport management to Uni students. He has coached more sports teams than he cares to remember. Tim is an awful surfer and skier but his lack of competence does not bother him one little bit!

Support Sportsocratic

Thanks for reading this story! We appreciate your visit to Sportsocratic… and love providing alternative information, opinions and angles from the sporting world. The world of sport is so full of the same old stuff from the same old sources that it drives us nuts… and it makes our day giving voice to less orthodox views. If you appreciate our free service, give some thought to helping us out. It costs us big bucks to keep Sportsocratic going but, if our readers support us, our future is much more secure.

Help us to keep you entertained and informed… and enable Socrates to keep asking those big philosophical sporting questions.

Support Sportsocratic for as little as a $1 and we would love you to bits. It only takes a few seconds!

Support Us

Tagged With: body surf, chicago, luc longely, Michael Jordan, minnesota, perth, shore break, surf, western Australia, wipe out

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related

SOCRATES’ RECENT TWEETS

Tweets by Sportsocratic

Secret Sports Person

Their sporting life – A journalist’s story

April 7, 2021 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

“Bill” could have been a great rugby player… but he was more interested in other things. Do people display characteristics of their personal and working lives through their performances on the sporting field? Socrates describes the sporting life of one of his favorite people, and shows how the skill and character of one of Australia’s best journalists was always on show, even as a young man, whether on the rugby field, the basketball court or even on a quiet country headland when threatened with fisticuff by a big bloke wearing a blue uniform. Get “Bill’s” story here. Click the pic!

Olympics Rugby Teams – Who are the greatest?

April 23, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

The rugby trivia question for the century! Which national rugby union team holds the record for the most Olympic gold medals in Rugby Union (the full-team fifteen a side game)?

Ethics and fairplay

Wallaby v France test – the moment that soared above all the others

July 20, 2021 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

There were many great moments in the final Wallabies versus France rugby test last week but according to Socrates, one stood our far above all the others. Was it a great try? A brilliant tackle? A perfect scrum or line-out? A fantastic bit of work at the break-down? According to the rotund Greek hooker it was none of those things. He reckons that the highlight of the game was a much quieter, simpler and more subdued moment. A moment that might have escaped the attention of millions of spectators. Find out about Socrates favorite moment of the test. Click the pic.

Never cheated in my life!

November 19, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

What is cheating? Is cheating a black and white moral issue… or are there shades of gray. Socrates spent twenty years in the engine room of the beautiful game of rugby… the scrum. He loved being a rugby hooker. He reckons that being slap bang in the middle of sixteen enormous, sweating blokes desperate to secure possession of the ball for their team taught him quite a bit about the fine art of cheating… what it is… and what it isn’t…. and how it can be done. Here Socrates lifts the veil on aspects of the workings of the 1970’s and 80’s amateur rugby scrum revealing some of its secrets. In so doing he shows that cheating is not a simple moral issue. he also claims to haver never deliberately cheated. Do you believe him?

matildas

Just six words…

May 20, 2021 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS 1 Comment

Have you ever wished that you could meet and have a conversation with someone you idolize? What would you say to your idol to convince them to want to stay in the conversation? What would they say in response to your brilliant social skills? How would the conversation go? How would it leave you feeling? An Australian ex-professional athlete who had played with and against some of the greatest basketball talent that this country has ever seen (Andrew Gaze, Ricky Grace, Shane Heal, Phil Smythe) once, by chance, had a meeting with possibly the greatest and most famous professional sports person that has ever lived. The superstar he bumped into, in a New York elevator, just happened to be the Aussie basketballer’s idol. How did the meeting turn out? Click the pic and discover the six most memorable words in this Australian point guard’s life.

Outstanding achievement

RITUAL: BEING CHAIRED UP THE BEACH

September 13, 2022 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

Why do we subject professional athletes to embarrassing and cumbersome rituals at times when they should be celebrating. Why do athletes agree to participate in rituals that make them look like nongs? Chas Smith makes the argument for banning the post-contest victory chair-up-the-beach. Click the pic to get Chas’ important advice to the world of contest surfing.

New surfing podcast

One of Australia’s greatest ever surfers – one of surfing’s greatest story tellers – “Rabbit” Bartholomew – talks to award winning journalist Tim Baker about life, surfing and stuff. Perfect listening for lockdown entertainment.

professionalism

To smash or be skillful? Can good defense be coached or are accidents like the Latrell Mitchell and Joey Manu incident inevitable?

August 31, 2021 By SOCRATES NEWS DESK Leave a Comment

In a tough body contact sport are occasional horrible accidents inevitable? Possibly. But probably not with the frequency that many former elite players and expert analysts argue. Socrates believes that good coaching and hard work from highly skilled players can prevent many potentially dangerous tackles and that accepting the horror accidents as inevitable and high level skills as “uncoachable” sells athletes, professional sports and coaches short. Get the story here. Click the pic.

wisdom

Its just a job. Grass grows. Birds fly. Waves pound the sand. I beat people up. – Muhammad Ali

sport at mardi gras

Athletes in the LGBTQI Mardi Gras

March 12, 2019 By SOCRATES 2 Comments

Twenty-one different sports teams marched in this years Sydney Mardi Gras. That’s twenty-one groups of out and proud queer athletes. The LGBTQI community need to be “fearless” and queer athletes are no exception. Check out these fearless sporting clubs living it up on their night of night!

A life with horses

A life with horses – or Lulu in wonderland

August 8, 2018 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment

It’s well known that playing sport can be a life-changing experience. For one mum, adventurer and businessperson, having a sporty pastime was more than life-changing. Lulu’s friendship with her horses has touched her and her daughter’s lives in a million ways and created a whole new life in an ever-changing wonderland for them both. But don’t think for a moment that their horses are the purpose built catalysts for their ideal lives! Its way more complex than that… and more respectful. Read on! It’s worth it!

wisdom

“Pressure? Pressure is a Messerschmidt up your arse. Playing cricket is not!”

Keith Miller

One of the greatest cricket “all-rounders” of all time, Keith Miller was not only an exceptional performer in multiple elements of test cricketing (batting, bowling and fielding) but he was also gifted in numerous other aspects of his life. Witty, entertaining, handsome, a renowned war time pilot and gifted Australian Rules Footballer, Miller was famed for calling a spade a spade and acknowledging that there was much more to life than elite sports. Having flown fighter bombers in the Second World War under life threatening circumstances he was not one to take the “pressure” of high level sport too seriously!

trivia

Here is a cracker of a trivia question.

Who was the college recruiting scout talking about when he said the following to his head coach.

“I’ve just seen a fat guy… who can play like the wind!”

Yup. The same guy who told people that just because they had shoes like his, it didn’t make them like him in any other way. Charles Wade Barkley.

Etymology

Are surfers sheep?

January 26, 2023 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

Where do you surf? What’s your primary source of information about where is the best place to choose to surf? Over several weeks I watched the surfing grape-vine drag punters from one surfing spot to the next according to what the latest “word” was telling them about where they needed to surf. It made me wonder whether many surfers were just happier being part of the mob than in actually surfing great waves. It wasn’t long before I discovered that more people suffer from the sheep syndrome than I originally imagined. It is a powerful disease.

What does it mean?

What is Elvis leg?

Admit it. You’ve never heard of “Elvis leg,” have you? What the blazes is “Elvis leg?” As is the case with every other “What does it mean…” story we have ever posted, the answer is not directly related to the name itself. It is indirectly related to Elvis, though. Have a guess what the relationship is… then click here and check out whether your were correct. Find out for certain which sport uses this term and what it means.

What is a liberator?

Of course most you aviation buffs will think that a liberator is an American WW2 heavy bomber. Fair enough. But in a sporting context does it have a completely different meaning? Indeed it does. You are going to have to click here to find out what a liberator is and does in the world of sport.

Aphorisms, insights and wisdom

“The thing that’s depressing about tennis is that no matter how good I get I will never be as good as a wall.”

More perceptive sporting analysis from Mitch Hedberg, comic genius.

 

ebook

Phillip has returned to the south of India after eighteen years. But who is the young girl staying in his hotel? And what will he learn about his estranged brother through Inez, the Spanish backpacker?

To buy The Bangalore Test, John Campbell’s new ebook novella, just click the link.

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

©2019 Sportsocratic