After a week of recording pitifully slow freestyle times over 1500 m, swimmer and sports philosopher, Socrates, knew he had to change something.
“I was swimming like a bloody soccer player, all week,” lamented the ancient Greek athlete and thinker, “…so I had to come up with a solution!”
Miraculously, Socrates shaved five minutes off his recent times while swimming at Lennox Head Aquatic Centre this morning. When asked how he had turned around his recent pathetic performances he explained that he put his success down to a new pair of sluggos.
“These new Aussie Bums sluggos took seconds off every lap,” he said. “I blew the doors off that old bastard in the lane next to me.”
Praise for sluggos
Socrates was effusive in his praise of his new cossies with the vertical stripes and is hoping that his discovery of the greater speed that the vertical stripes gives over the horizontal stripes that he has traditionally worn will lead to even greater performance improvements in upcoming swims.
Fellow swimmer and high performance athlete, Grant Millington, expressed doubts over Socrates’ claims after the ancient Greek’s recent swim.
“You’re a frikkin’ idiot, Socrates!” said Millington, on hearing about Socrates’ recent success.
Chance of world record?
Despite Millington’s cynicism Socrates is confident that world record times over the 1500 m might still be a possibility if he continues to improve. Not wishing to take credit for his remarkable recent swim Socrates gives all of the credit to Sean from Aussie Bums and his brand new Aussie Bums rocket slugs!