• Home
  • SOCRATES’ THINKING
    • News and comment
    • Editorial
  • About
  • US
    • Sportsocratic team
    • Contributors
  • Reviews
    • Adventures
    • Books
    • Places
  • Contributions
  • Advertise
  • Contact

Sportsocratic

Thoughts, ideas, opinions and postulations on sport and adventuring

  • Sport & society
    • Ethics & Values
    • History
    • Favourite photos
    • Cultural and social issues
    • Politics
    • Big questions
    • Sport fashion
      • Sartorialism and style
  • Wild sports
  • Silly stuff
  • Sports science
    • Research
    • Coaching
    • Innovation
    • HEALTH
  • The things that made me
  • Stories
    • General sporting stories
    • Waves of Pain
      • No Respect!
      • Death Wish at Fairy Bower
      • Fried nuts
      • The ocean is a trickster… especially Hawaii’s North Shore – Gas chambers bites the unwary!
      • Titus Kinimaka’s nightmare Christmas
      • Dix dumped – the trials of a self-confessed elite body surfer
      • The little surf that nearly ruined a promising career…
      • Rabbit killer – a master takes a caning at pipeline!
      • Death Wish at Fairy Bower
      • Easternmost memory – surfing in the wild at the end of the continent
      • Nothing ruins a good surf like a couple of blokes with automatic assault rifles…
      • Agony for Miki Dora
      • Smashed at Gas Chambers
      • Who was Europe’s first surfing woman? Introducing the wonderful Witch of Newbury.
      • A bad day at Palmy – surfies and clubbies at war!
      • When being a proven waterman is not enough!
      • The highs and lows of surfing Sunset Beach while competing at the Duke Kahanamoku Invitational
      • An American midnight surf – that goes very wrong!
  • What does it mean?
    • What is a snake?
    • What does “shag” mean?
    • What does “Freddy Jones” mean?
    • What does “hook and ladder” mean?
    • What does back walk-over mean?
  • Philosophers Sport Bar
    • Socrates and Aristotle debate football defence
    • Michel de Montaigne on coaching sports
    • Ancient philosophers discuss what makes the beautiful game beautiful! Laozi and Socrates get technical.

Socrates the spewer – Two philosophers look at pre-game anxiety

March 20, 2020 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment Filed Under: Philosophers Sport Bar

Socrates and Seneca are enjoying each other’s company at the philosopher’s sports bar when Socrates confesses to his mate that he has a problem that is driving him nuts. Little did Socrates think that he was about to get an earful of stoic philosophy from the “hard-man” Roman.

Socrates: Mate. I can’t stand it. Its driving me nuts. I love playing rugga, but these pre-game nerves are not only ruining my fun at the game, but they are making my entire week, especially my weekend, miserable.

Seneca: You can’t be serious. It can’t be that bad.

Socrates: It’s bad enough that I spew before every game. Sometimes I spew at home before I even get in the car to come to the game. I spew in the car park when I arrive at the ground. I spew in the dressing room while I am getting changed. I have one more spew while lining up in the tunnel before running onto the field. To make matters worse one or two of the other blokes have started spewing in sympathy. Who ever heard of copycat vomiting?

Stoic, Seneca the Younger (left), and nervous rugby hooker Aristotle (right).

When new guys join the team, they stare at me in horror until one of my mates says “Ah don’t worry about old Socrates… he’s just puking. He does that all the time.” I don’t really care that it pisses of my teammates… and I am not really that worried about the embarrassment of it all. The thing that pisses me off is that it makes the build up to the game unbearable. I have come to hate Saturday mornings. Now I love and hate playing rugby at the same time!

Seneca: Geez, mate. I had no idea. That’s rough.

Socrates: And do you know what else is rough? I know… I just know… that being sick with nerves causes me to play way less well than I know I can. On the few rare occasions when I have come to a game totally relaxed, I have played the best footy I have ever played. All that bullshit about nerves being good is just that. Bullshit. Nerves don’t make me play better. Nerves kill it for me. Sap my energy. Rip the heart out of my confidence. It’s a frikkin nightmare.

Seneca: Shit, Socrates. It’s only a game of footy. Why do you think you get so nervous?

I am terrified that I am shit!

Socrates: I’m not sure Seneca. There are lots of reasons, I guess. If I am totally honest, I guess it’s because I really want to be good. It’s performance anxiety, I suppose. I really want to play well. I want to win every scrum. I want to get heaps of turnovers at the break down. I want to rip through the defence. I want to smash the opposition! I want to be the best fucking player on the field. And deep down… I am terrified that I am just shit. I am scared that I can’t do any of these things. Deep down I am terrified that everyone will see that I am a big fraud. A useless toad.

Seneca: Holy crap, mate. That’s nuts.

Socrates: I know.

Who knew that Leo Messi (one of the greatest athletes of all time) was a pre-game puker?

Seneca: I have this mate, Lucilius, who got himself into some deep shit a few months back and he was just as sick with worry as you have been lately. Something went wrong with a business deal and this other bloke decided to sue him over it. Lucilius was scared shitless. Terrified. The way he saw it was that if the court case didn’t go his way, he would lose everything… his business, his house, his wealth, his family and even his reputation. He wrote me this long letter asking for advice. I thought about his worries long and hard and this is what came to me. Maybe it will mean something to you. Maybe it’s just bullshit, but it made sense to me.

Socrates: I’m desperate, Seneca. Tell me what you came up with.

Seneca: I told Lucilius that I was going to tell him the exact opposite of what he might expect to hear or what he might want to hear. I could have told him that everything was going to be fine… that he was going to present the information to the court clearly and that the court would see that he had done nothing wrong and that it would find in his favour. Nup. That would have been too easy. Instead, I told him to imagine that the outcome of his hearing was going to be the worst result imaginable. I asked him what the very worst possible outcomes could be.

“I could be exiled!”

“Geez, mate. Way to make me feel a whole lot better,” he said. “Thanks a million! But since you are interested in the bad news I could be exiled, I guess, or put in prison… and lose every penny that I have.”

Socrates was in good company. Hoops superstar Bill Russell was also a member of the vomit mob.

I replied “So, if you ended up broke you would be one skint bloke among thousands of other poor people. If you ended up exiled, you could just remind yourself that others were born in the place where you were sent, and you could pretend you were one of them for a while? If you ended up in chains, aren’t we all in chains pretty much all of the time anyway?”

The point is, brother, that Lucilius was in deep shit and he had plenty of reason to be sad but no reason at all to be hysterical. If I had tried to paint a rosy picture for him about how everything was going to be okay how would that have helped him if things didn’t work out okay. Besides, my soft-soaping him would have implied that the worst possible result was life-threatening and disastrous rather than just plain old shit.

Socrates: Yeah. I see what you mean. But does that really apply in my situation?

Seneca: Oh, I dunno? Maybe? What is the very worst possible outcome of you playing just as crap as you fear you might?

Puking kinda makes sense when you are about to be executed

Socrates: Hmmm. People could laugh at me. I could be dropped from first grade to seventh grade. People could lose their respect for me.

Jonny Wilkinson got so nervous before one game that he considered refusing to run on the field.

Seneca: Yup. If people laughed at you that would hurt. Sure. It would be horrible… but disastrous? Puking kinda makes sense when you are about to be executed… not so much when you are afraid some arsehole might laugh at you. And ask yourself, do I really want the respect of the kind of person who laughs at others?

What about being dropped to seventh grade? How disastrous would that be?

Socrates: Well, I would way prefer to play in first grade, but the 7ths would not be a death sentence… and it would have some positives. I would score plenty of tries. I would win practically every scrum. I would create lots of turnovers. I would have lots of fun under no pressure! And at half time the 7th grade team have tea and scones instead of water and oranges. It’s not all bad. Come to think of it a high school mate played all of his school-boy footy in seventh grade and only a couple of years later was not only playing first grade for his district club but got a few runs playing for his state team as well.

Seneca: That’s it really, Socrates. It may not help your anxiety and your spewing, but it may. Think about the very worst consequences of your playing really badly then ask yourself if that would be such a disaster. You will most likely discover that sadness or disappointment is more appropriate than hysteria!

“You think you’re a failure, do you? Well, you probably are!”

Oh, and by the way. At least one other philosopher I know thinks that failure… especially a big failure… is something worth celebrating. I was down the pub the other day with Tom Robbins and we were talking about me fucking up and being crap at stuff and he said this to me…

Tom Robbins was not one to worry about performance.

“So, you think that you’re a failure, do you? Well, you probably are. What’s wrong with that? In the first place, if you’ve any sense at all you must have learned by now that we pay just as dearly for our triumphs as we do for our defeats. Go ahead and fail. But fail with wit, fail with grace, fail with style. A mediocre failure is as insufferable as a mediocre success. Embrace failure! Seek it out. Learn to love it.”

In his world I suspect that enjoying a cup of tea and a scone (with strawberry jam and whipped cream) at half time in a 7th grade game to celebrate missing lots of tackles and dropping lots of passes in the first half would be much more heroic and admirable than being the star of the 1st grade team. Maybe he has a point. Mind you, he would probably think that puking in the dressing room is cool too.

Footnote: As some of the above images point out, Socrates is not alone in experiencing pre-game paralysis. Bill Russell, Leo Messi and Jonny Wilkinson are just a few of the elite athletes who go nuts with anxiety before matches.

If you think that Seneca’s advice was tough, keep in mind that this was the bloke who told his crying mates to toughen up when they started to lose it at his execution. Seneca didn’t see any point in getting all up tight about something that could be so easily predicted. I am sure that he wasn’t exactly blissful about his own demise but he sure wasn’t going to get hysterical about the inevitable.

 

TIMOTHY EDWARDS

Tim Edwards has had a completely rubbish sporting career so it is odd that he seems so obsessed with sport and adventuring. As a basketball shooting guard he had an okay jump shot but couldn't do anything else. As a rugby hooker he spent more time puking then actually playing. As a runner he won an awful lot of consolation prize chocolates for coming fourth but almost never won a ribbon. Despite his inadequacies he still loves sport and has opinions on almost any sporting subject. Tim has spent large parts of his working life in publishing and writing roles and has even done his share of teaching sport management to Uni students. He has coached more sports teams than he cares to remember. Tim is an awful surfer and skier but his lack of competence does not bother him one little bit!

Support Sportsocratic

Thanks for reading this story! We appreciate your visit to Sportsocratic… and love providing alternative information, opinions and angles from the sporting world. The world of sport is so full of the same old stuff from the same old sources that it drives us nuts… and it makes our day giving voice to less orthodox views. If you appreciate our free service, give some thought to helping us out. It costs us big bucks to keep Sportsocratic going but, if our readers support us, our future is much more secure.

Help us to keep you entertained and informed… and enable Socrates to keep asking those big philosophical sporting questions.

Support Sportsocratic for as little as a $1 and we would love you to bits. It only takes a few seconds!

Support Us

Tagged With: anxiety, bill russell, fear, jonny wilkinson, leo messi, rugby, seneca, Socrates, spew, tom robbins, vomit

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Related

SOCRATES’ RECENT TWEETS

Tweets by Sportsocratic

Secret Sports Person

Their sporting life – A journalist’s story

April 7, 2021 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

“Bill” could have been a great rugby player… but he was more interested in other things. Do people display characteristics of their personal and working lives through their performances on the sporting field? Socrates describes the sporting life of one of his favorite people, and shows how the skill and character of one of Australia’s best journalists was always on show, even as a young man, whether on the rugby field, the basketball court or even on a quiet country headland when threatened with fisticuff by a big bloke wearing a blue uniform. Get “Bill’s” story here. Click the pic!

Olympics Rugby Teams – Who are the greatest?

April 23, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

The rugby trivia question for the century! Which national rugby union team holds the record for the most Olympic gold medals in Rugby Union (the full-team fifteen a side game)?

Ethics and fairplay

Wallaby v France test – the moment that soared above all the others

July 20, 2021 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

There were many great moments in the final Wallabies versus France rugby test last week but according to Socrates, one stood our far above all the others. Was it a great try? A brilliant tackle? A perfect scrum or line-out? A fantastic bit of work at the break-down? According to the rotund Greek hooker it was none of those things. He reckons that the highlight of the game was a much quieter, simpler and more subdued moment. A moment that might have escaped the attention of millions of spectators. Find out about Socrates favorite moment of the test. Click the pic.

Never cheated in my life!

November 19, 2020 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

What is cheating? Is cheating a black and white moral issue… or are there shades of gray. Socrates spent twenty years in the engine room of the beautiful game of rugby… the scrum. He loved being a rugby hooker. He reckons that being slap bang in the middle of sixteen enormous, sweating blokes desperate to secure possession of the ball for their team taught him quite a bit about the fine art of cheating… what it is… and what it isn’t…. and how it can be done. Here Socrates lifts the veil on aspects of the workings of the 1970’s and 80’s amateur rugby scrum revealing some of its secrets. In so doing he shows that cheating is not a simple moral issue. he also claims to haver never deliberately cheated. Do you believe him?

matildas

Just six words…

May 20, 2021 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS 1 Comment

Have you ever wished that you could meet and have a conversation with someone you idolize? What would you say to your idol to convince them to want to stay in the conversation? What would they say in response to your brilliant social skills? How would the conversation go? How would it leave you feeling? An Australian ex-professional athlete who had played with and against some of the greatest basketball talent that this country has ever seen (Andrew Gaze, Ricky Grace, Shane Heal, Phil Smythe) once, by chance, had a meeting with possibly the greatest and most famous professional sports person that has ever lived. The superstar he bumped into, in a New York elevator, just happened to be the Aussie basketballer’s idol. How did the meeting turn out? Click the pic and discover the six most memorable words in this Australian point guard’s life.

Outstanding achievement

RITUAL: BEING CHAIRED UP THE BEACH

September 13, 2022 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

Why do we subject professional athletes to embarrassing and cumbersome rituals at times when they should be celebrating. Why do athletes agree to participate in rituals that make them look like nongs? Chas Smith makes the argument for banning the post-contest victory chair-up-the-beach. Click the pic to get Chas’ important advice to the world of contest surfing.

New surfing podcast

One of Australia’s greatest ever surfers – one of surfing’s greatest story tellers – “Rabbit” Bartholomew – talks to award winning journalist Tim Baker about life, surfing and stuff. Perfect listening for lockdown entertainment.

professionalism

To smash or be skillful? Can good defense be coached or are accidents like the Latrell Mitchell and Joey Manu incident inevitable?

August 31, 2021 By SOCRATES NEWS DESK Leave a Comment

In a tough body contact sport are occasional horrible accidents inevitable? Possibly. But probably not with the frequency that many former elite players and expert analysts argue. Socrates believes that good coaching and hard work from highly skilled players can prevent many potentially dangerous tackles and that accepting the horror accidents as inevitable and high level skills as “uncoachable” sells athletes, professional sports and coaches short. Get the story here. Click the pic.

wisdom

Its just a job. Grass grows. Birds fly. Waves pound the sand. I beat people up. – Muhammad Ali

sport at mardi gras

Athletes in the LGBTQI Mardi Gras

March 12, 2019 By SOCRATES 2 Comments

Twenty-one different sports teams marched in this years Sydney Mardi Gras. That’s twenty-one groups of out and proud queer athletes. The LGBTQI community need to be “fearless” and queer athletes are no exception. Check out these fearless sporting clubs living it up on their night of night!

A life with horses

A life with horses – or Lulu in wonderland

August 8, 2018 By TIMOTHY EDWARDS Leave a Comment

It’s well known that playing sport can be a life-changing experience. For one mum, adventurer and businessperson, having a sporty pastime was more than life-changing. Lulu’s friendship with her horses has touched her and her daughter’s lives in a million ways and created a whole new life in an ever-changing wonderland for them both. But don’t think for a moment that their horses are the purpose built catalysts for their ideal lives! Its way more complex than that… and more respectful. Read on! It’s worth it!

wisdom

“Pressure? Pressure is a Messerschmidt up your arse. Playing cricket is not!”

Keith Miller

One of the greatest cricket “all-rounders” of all time, Keith Miller was not only an exceptional performer in multiple elements of test cricketing (batting, bowling and fielding) but he was also gifted in numerous other aspects of his life. Witty, entertaining, handsome, a renowned war time pilot and gifted Australian Rules Footballer, Miller was famed for calling a spade a spade and acknowledging that there was much more to life than elite sports. Having flown fighter bombers in the Second World War under life threatening circumstances he was not one to take the “pressure” of high level sport too seriously!

trivia

Here is a cracker of a trivia question.

Who was the college recruiting scout talking about when he said the following to his head coach.

“I’ve just seen a fat guy… who can play like the wind!”

Yup. The same guy who told people that just because they had shoes like his, it didn’t make them like him in any other way. Charles Wade Barkley.

Etymology

Are surfers sheep?

January 26, 2023 By SOCRATES Leave a Comment

Where do you surf? What’s your primary source of information about where is the best place to choose to surf? Over several weeks I watched the surfing grape-vine drag punters from one surfing spot to the next according to what the latest “word” was telling them about where they needed to surf. It made me wonder whether many surfers were just happier being part of the mob than in actually surfing great waves. It wasn’t long before I discovered that more people suffer from the sheep syndrome than I originally imagined. It is a powerful disease.

What does it mean?

What is Elvis leg?

Admit it. You’ve never heard of “Elvis leg,” have you? What the blazes is “Elvis leg?” As is the case with every other “What does it mean…” story we have ever posted, the answer is not directly related to the name itself. It is indirectly related to Elvis, though. Have a guess what the relationship is… then click here and check out whether your were correct. Find out for certain which sport uses this term and what it means.

What is a liberator?

Of course most you aviation buffs will think that a liberator is an American WW2 heavy bomber. Fair enough. But in a sporting context does it have a completely different meaning? Indeed it does. You are going to have to click here to find out what a liberator is and does in the world of sport.

Aphorisms, insights and wisdom

“The thing that’s depressing about tennis is that no matter how good I get I will never be as good as a wall.”

More perceptive sporting analysis from Mitch Hedberg, comic genius.

 

ebook

Phillip has returned to the south of India after eighteen years. But who is the young girl staying in his hotel? And what will he learn about his estranged brother through Inez, the Spanish backpacker?

To buy The Bangalore Test, John Campbell’s new ebook novella, just click the link.

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

©2019 Sportsocratic